Are you wondering whether now is the right time for moving in together with your significant other? If so, don’t feel alone as this is a huge decision that often confuses at least one person in the couple. That’s why I put together these moving in together tips to help make your decision a breeze.
Moving In Together: Right For You?
So how do you know whether moving in together is the right move?
Here are the factors to look at before living together should even be on the table:
- Relationship Status: Obviously, you two are serious or else you wouldn’t be discussing living together. However, this is a good time to sit down and think about the current state and trajectory of the relationship. Have you been fighting or bickering more often than usual? Are things in the bedroom what they used to be? To you still get excited to see them when he or she goes on vacation for a while? If you find that your relationship is on the right track then moving in together may be the right move.
- Finances: I’ve seen too many of those TV court shows where ex-lovers are suing each other over rent, apartment damages and lost security deposits. It’s tragic, really, as many of thee conflicts could have been easily avoided with some paperwork. Not to be a downer, but relationships do end (even good ones) and finances are only an issue if you are living together. So before you sign the lease figure out a detailed financial plan for you and your boyfriend or girlfriend. Make firm arrangements over how much you two are willing to pay for rent (assuming that you’re moving into a new place), who is going to take care of utilities and which of you are going to pay the security deposit. This may not be a “fun” part of moving in together but it’s a must if you want to avoid potential disaster.
- Time Spent Together: If you only spend weekends with one another, you may be surprised how things change once you start moving in together. Many couples find that they can spend a few days together without issue, but when days turn into weeks, they start fighting like two roosters in a small cage. How can you know if you two will get along in the same house or apartment before actually making your move? One way is to take a vacation together. On vacation you’ll be spending every waking minute with your guy or gal. If you two still get along after spending all this time together then you can be pretty sure moving in together is the way to go.
Moving In Together: Practical Considerations
Once you feel that living with your significant other is something you want, then comes time to bang out some practical issues. The first is determining what living space the two of you want. Oftentimes one half of the couple moves in with the other half’s apartment or house. While this arrangement can and does work, there are some potential issues to keep in mind.
Let’s say that person A and B are a cute couple ready to begin moving in together. Person A’s lease just ran out so they’re going to take all of their belongings and start living with person B. Although this transition can be smooth sailing, remember that a few potential conflicts that can arise from this situation. For example, no matter how long the new person lives there, it will always be considered person B’s place. This means that whatever set-up person B had to begin with is set in stone. Oftentimes person A wants to make a change to where something is stored, which can irk person B.
Also, some people find that the one bedroom that seemed so roomy before is suddenly cramped when their partner arrives. For those of you that want their living area to be roomy and clutter-free, adding another person to the mix may make you uncomfortable and even resentful.
That’s why I tend to recommend moving in together in a new, neutral space. This way you can create the new rules together and find a place that suits both of you. Also, I’ve found that the act of searching for a place, deciding on a price and getting the money together is a powerful bonding experience (especially for those that are moving in together before marriage).
Moving In Together: Is Now the Time?
Although there can never be an absolutely firm answer to the question of “should we move in together”, there are some ways you can determine whether it’s the right time in your relationship to make that move. First, consider where your relationship currently stands. If things are going great and you’ve been together for a while, then moving in together probably makes sense. Next, see if you and your partner are on the same page financially. If so, try to get as much as possible in writing so that you can avoid issues if things don’t work out. And if you two can spend weeks together without fighting, then moving in together will probably be the best decision you two can possibly make.
Moving anywhere is a tough decision. After all, you need to choose a city, neighborhood and (last but certainly not least) a house!
But finding senior apartments is even more difficult, especially if you’re in the San Francisco Bay area. That is, unless you head over to Carlton Senior Living where I recently had my grandfather move into a Senior living facility. Let me tell you, finding a place for my grandfather to stay was a time consuming experience. I had to look at about a dozen places before finally deciding that Carlton Senior Living was the right fit for my grandad.
Actually, it’s been about 6-months since he’s moved in so I want to give you guys an update. He’s doing so well over there! He’s made so many new friends (including a lady friend) and has lots of fun at the many activities they have at their facilities.