Many couples that decide to take the plunge and start living together often wish there was a step by step way for them to make it work. If so, then you’ll love this moving in together checklist that I put together. It contains all of the important things you need to make cohabitation what it should be: an enriching experience that brings you two closer together and not what it shouldn’t be: a stressor that results in bickering and causes you two to drift apart.
This moving in together checklist is designed to help make this often stressful process a breeze.
√ Make sure the two of you are moving in together for the right reasons: I’ve seen many couples start living together to save money, get closer to their job or some other practical reason that has little or nothing to do with the state of their relationship. Although there’s nothing wrong with savings money or time by living together, but there is an issue if that is the primary reason you do it. However, if you two think that you’re serious and would get along well living in the same space, then moving in together is probably the way to go.
√ Document as much as you can: I don’t want to sound unromantic, but remember that relationships don’t always work out. But unlike a breakup where you and your partner live in separate places, you can find yourself with sticky financial issues when living with your lover. So before you put a down payment on a house or a deposit on an apartment, make sure that you write down who paid what. If you feel that your partner will get offended, simply state that you’re writing this down because you may forget later and want to make sure you don’t owe him or her any money.
√ Expect speed bumps: Even meticulous couples that plan everything before they start moving in together find that issues crop up that they didn’t expect. These issues can range from the practical (“no one is in charge of taking out the trash”) to the emotional (“this arrangement isn’t what I expected”) to the metaphysical (“what am I doing here?”). These issues are just part of the process and aren’t necessarily reasons to call the whole thing off.
√ Enjoy the Process: Many couples get so caught up in the moving in together advice they read on the internet that they forget the process is supposed to be an enjoyable one. Remember: this is an exciting and new experience in your life, don’t let all the paperwork and decision making take away from the fun!
√ Be understanding: iving together requires a certain level of empathy. Although this whole moving in together thing may be stressful, keep in mind that your partner may feel the same way. If he or she is acting weird, try to put yourself in their shoes before assuming the worst.
√ Establish “me time”: One thing couples often find when they start living together is that there isn’t as much privacy in their lives as their once was. This can cause two issues: more fighting and less life satisfaction overall. Even two people that love each other very much can only spend so much time together before they start getting on each others’ nerves. Time apart helps prevent this from happening. Also, privacy is important on an individual level to make sure you have time to think and sort things out in your head. So before you move in, establish set times that you can spend apart.
√ Talk about family issues: If you two are moving in together before marriage you may want to discuss how both of your families feel about the issue. Although increasingly common, not all families are completely OK about cohabitation. You may want to simply chat about your potential move with the family before making the final decision. Most parents and loved ones will appreciate being a part of the process.
√ Be Patient: eep in mind that peoples’ behavior doesn’t change overnight. It takes time for someone to turn a new task or habit into something they do automatically. So if your partner is new to doing the dishes or clearing out the dishwasher, wait a few weeks before bringing it up.
I hope this moving in together checklist is something you and your lover use to make your new living arrangements a happy one!